The Cullen ClanA fluffly little short
by TheGingerNextDoor
Summary: In the vein of "The Brady Bunch"-an all-human story of how the family comes together.


Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight characters. They belong to Stepheine Meyer.

The Cullen Clan-to the theme of "The Brady Bunch"

"Here's the story, of a man named Cullen, Who was busy with three boys of his own, They were four men, living all together, Yet they were all alone"-Sherwood Schwartz

Carlisle

Carlisle Cullen is a cardiologist, and a darn good one, if he says so himself. He lives in Forks, WA with his three sons: Edward, Emmett, and Jasper. His wife had died years ago and he and his boys spent their years moving from one town to another, trying to find a sense of structure. Emmett, his oldest, was the star running back at Forks High, and tonight was the first game of the season. Edward was the star of the drama department; his musical expertise made him both a triple threat onstage and with the daughter of the police chief who'd just moved to town. Jasper, whom he and his wife had adopted before her death, was an aspiring martial-arts master and suffering artist. He had awoken that morning to the sounds of crashes coming from the living room; _that _was never a good sign. He climbed out of bed to go investigate. As he tripped down the stairs, bleary eyed, he saw Edward, dressed in black, hauling what looked like a life-sized bust of Shakespeare out of the front door. He didn't stop to inquire; from the kitchen, he could hear Emmett cursing.

"Emmett, please watch your mouth." His son looked up from the fridge, where his head was buried the rest of the time he wasn't on a sports field. He shook his head at his son.

"What was that noise? The banging sound?" Emmett removed his head from the fridge, holding a carton of chocolate milk, some bread and the peanut butter. He looked at his father, and rolled his eyes. He opened the fridge again and pulled out a jar of strawberry jelly and placed it on the counter next to the other sandwich supplies.

"Jasper. He was trying to show me how he could karate-chop a popsicle stick in half." Then Emmett turned and began to prepare himself the largest triple-decker PBJ that Carlisle had ever seen.

"Where are your brothers?"

"Jazz left already to meet the new brunette chick who moved to town; her name is Alice or something boring like that. Seems nice enough, though. Edward is going to his car; that cutout of Shakespeare creeps me out, dude."

"Yeah, what's that about?" Carlisle moved to the coffee pot, where one of his boys, most likely Edward, had fixed a pot of coffee.

"Not sure. I think it has something to do with the Geek Club performance, though." Carlisle scowled at his oldest son's replacement word for the "glee" club.

"Be nice, your brother is very talented. What time is the game tonight?"

"Starts at 7. I have to be there at 5:30, though, to warm up."

"Ok." Carlisle spread some peanut butter on a slice of bread and gulped it down in two bites. He wasn't usually so rude, but he had a busy day ahead of him, especially if he was going to leave work early to make it to Emmett's game, which he had made a priority since their mother passed. Edward wandered into the kitchen, hauling the cutout of Sir William with him; apparently, it wouldn't fit in his trunk. He smiled at his son.

"Did you make the coffee, Ed?"

"Yes."

"Thank you." From upstairs, he could hear his cell phone trill. The life of a doctor is busy, busy. He sighed, but headed for the stairs to answer the phone. He picked it up after a minute and, as he suspected, it was the hospital, with a trauma call. He dressed quickly and went back downstairs. He wished the kids a good day and headed for the hospital.

"Here's the story of a lovely lady Who was bringing up two very lovely girls. Both of them had eyes of gold, like their mother, The youngest one in curls." -Sherwood SchwartzEsme's Story

Esme Siler had woken that morning at 6 am, which was her usual time. She had two girls, Alice and Rosalie- teenagers, and sometimes she found it to be a handful. But she discovered that at 6 am, she could drink some coffee and check email in peace, before one of her daughters woke up and, inevitably, pulled her into some scheme of theirs, usually designed to catch the eye of a boy or two (or, in Rose's cases, as many as possible). This morning, it was Alice who woke up first. She was the quietest of the girls and lately, she'd been really into a boy at school who was in the Art club, which she wasn't involved in. She kissed Alice hello and set herself to making some oatmeal for the girls to eat before they began their sixth week at Forks High School. She'd moved here after a terribly messy divorce, and, as the up-and-coming West Coast interior designer, she'd had her pick of places to live. She'd picked Forks because of it's proximity to both Seattle and British Columbia, but also because the crime rate in the tiny town was practically zilch. She dished up the oatmeal as Rosalie, her oldest daughter, came hurrying down the stairs. Rose had been immediately accepted on the cheerleading squad, and had had one date already with the star running back. Alice, who could, quite possibly, eclipse both her sister and mother in beauty, had gone out already with some slightly punky kid that Esme hadn't wanted to like, but did anyway. Both of the boys her daughters had found were brothers, sons of the town's famed cardiologist. She handed a bowl to Alice, who grimaced, grabbed a banana and said she'd had to leave. Esme sighed, but shrugged. Alice waved from her car. Rosalie took her bowl of oatmeal and ate it quickly. Rosalie was wearing her cheerleader's uniform; Esme was glad she'd had her assistant take it to the cleaners, as tonight was the first game of the year. She'd look fantastic.

"What time is the game tonight, Rose?"

"7."

"Ok, your sister and I will be there."

"Thanks." Esme glanced at the clock, and kissed Rosalie goodbye. She had a client meeting at 8 in La Push, and needed the half-hour to get there.

Later that evening

At 5:30, Carlisle strode into the house to find his sister, Tanya, there already. She came down occasionally to help Carlisle with the boys if he had to work a lot or if the kids had a school function. Normally, she lived in Alaska with some friends from college, and although she was pretty and rather vivacious, she'd yet to marry or have children. He kissed her head and asked where the boys were.

"Emmett left to go to the school to warm up or whatever it is football players do to get ready. Jasper is outside; I'm not quite certain what he's doing, although he is out there with a pretty, petite brunette-Alice, I think, she said her name was. Edward is studying in your office, also with a girl-Bella. The boys seem to be adjusting well. Do you want something to eat? I made some salad for the boys."

"No, thanks, I had a late lunch. Both of the boys have girls over?" He furrowed his brow; he was still a little uncomfortable with the idea of his sons dating, but realized that it would've happened sooner or later. He just wished, sometimes, that their mother was around to help them, and him, navigate it all.

"Ok, well, I'll round up the crew and send the girls home so we can get ready for Emmett's game."

"Thanks, Tanya. I'm going upstairs to change and try to squeeze in some paperwork."

"Ok." He glanced out the kitchen window and spotted Jasper chasing a short, small brunette girl with pretty blue eyes. He smiled to himself and went upstairs. An hour later, they pulled up to the High School and made their way to the ball field.

"Till the one day when the lady met this fellow And they knew it was much more than a hunch, That this group would somehow form a family. That's the way we all became the Cullen Bunch. The Cullen Bunch…"-Sherwood Schwartz.

Esme pulled her car into the high school's parking lot and went to find Alice. From her vantage point, she could see Rosalie already on the field, jumping and yelling and doing all things cheerleader. As she approached the bleachers, her golden eyes met a good-looking man's brown ones, and she smiled. A moment later, Alice was in front of her, chatting away and pulling her towards a low bleacher where she had staked out seats. She was telling Esme that the father of the boy she'd been seeing was there, and that she wanted to introduce them. Just then, though, the game began. At half-time, the boy who'd been coming around for Alice came over and got Alice, saying something about the food stand. Rosalie came up to her, dragging a sandy-haired football player that she recognized as the boy who'd taken her out last week.

"Hello, Rose. Emmett. You're doing well out there, both of you."

"Thank you. Hey, you should come meet my dad. He'd like to meet you; he said so." She shrugged, but nodded. They led her over to the man she'd seen earlier, with the brown eyes. She smiled at him again while Emmett made the introductions.

"Dad, this is Esme Siler, Rosalie's mom. Ms. Siler, this is my dad, Carlisle." Esme stuck her hand out for Carlisle to shake, but she knew that she was somehow, instantly, already his. It was dizzying, sort of like being in love at fourteen; you know it's crazy and reckless, but you just can't help it.

A few months later, Carlisle Cullen and Esme Siler were an item, and so were their children-Emmett and Rosalie, Alice and Jasper. Edward, Carlisle's oldest son, was a confirmed item with the daughter of the police chief.

A year later, wedding bells pealed throughout the tiny town of Forks, Washington, for the double wedding of Dr. Carlisle Cullen and Esme Siler and their children, Emmett Cullen and Rosalie H. Siler. Just a few year later, all the couples were married, and living in wedded bliss, only blocks from each other, and they all lived happily ever after.

That's the way we all became the Cullen Clan. The Cullen Clan.


End file.
